Thursday, September 16, 2010

~Jatra~

sedin jhor otheni....
tobe hawa boichhilo....
tobuo monta gumot...
jhor aaste chaichhilo....
tobuo....jhor otheni...
bondho chhilo dwar...
mukto hote chaichhilo jibon
bondho thaakte chaichhilona ar...

sedin jhor otheni...
sudhu mone chhilo bristipaat
adhar jokhon dhaaklo protichhobi
ondhokarei chhere gelo haat...
swadhinota naamti chhilo taar...
kothay kokhon kon namate aase...
keu janena ki tar thikana...
vul thikanay daray esey pashe...

sei thikanay dhukle porbe chokhe
onumoti kebol ekakitter
ekbarti dhuke gele sethay..
ghurbe jibon chhinnovinno britte...
pother seshe poth hariye gele...
gontobbyo jhapsa hoy chokhe...
haater sathe arekta haat mile
haarato jodi notun pother baanke...

ekla pothe ekakittoi sathi
dujonetei gontobbyo hoy...
dujon jodi dudik diye chhote...
se poth chola boroi dwondomoy....
ektu nahoy dhire chole dekho...
Jibone te somoy onek beshi...
ekla hoye chhutle ki ba sukh..
jokhon shunyotara haasbe ottohasi?

6 comments:

Abhirup Chakrabarty said...

New style, but the feelings and the expressions remain the very same.

About the poem, jibon-er khanti kotha ta khub shundor bhabe likhechhish...couldn't have been better.

"Bohu din dhore, bohu krosh dure,
bohu byay kori, bohu desh ghure,
Dekhite giyachhi parbotmala, dekhite giyachhi sindhu,
Dekha hoy nai chokkhu meliya,
Ghar hote shudhu dui pa feliya,
Ekti dhaner shisher upore ekti shishir bindu."

Fast life-e cholte cholte dur-er jinish niye amra etotai obsessed hoye pori je kachhe bhalo laga bhalobasha-r jinish gulo ke ignore kori onek shomoy. And in course of time, this teaches us a valuable lesson, but it's late most of the time.

Abar bolchhi...khub khub shundor laglo..and I understand what you are trying to convey here :) ..

Sourabh said...

What a line - "Jibone te somoy onek beshi... ekla hoye chhutle ki ba sukh.. jokhon shunyotara haasbe ottohasi?"

I felt this piece probably the first one that's pretty complex in nature, but yes a class touch is definitely there in the way thing was started, entangled and explained it's essence.

Very beautiful, outstanding effort to bring different layers together and what's most touching a sweet enigma evident in second and third stanza. Overall truly a classic poem...

Just a piece of advice, try to play with these complexities a little more... Surely you can do that !!!

Nabanita said...

@abhirup- ei rabindranath er puro kobita ta aami khujchhi...ei linegulo amar khub pochhonder... :)

@dadamoni- i wanted to write a piece not a poetry...then suddenly the outcome was this..as u can see...wat I didn't understand was d last line u said "try to play with these complexities a little more..."...in life or in words?? if its about life thn frankly i need a bit of rest...in case of words...yaa i will try for sure...:)

Vivek Panda said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vivek Panda said...

tor lekhaye fote ochin ek sur,
jeno book er bhitor kore furfur,
uriye niye jay onek dur-e,
mele di pakha oi bataas er sur-e,
mone aashe onek rokom sriti,
jar nai kono shuru, nai kono eeti...
tai barbar kore ashi feere,
tor lekhajokha-r chotto ei neer-e.

chini toke holo bochor onek,
tao mone hoy eitto aage khonek...
dekhte dekhte shomoy jay palte,
kintu hoy dekha abar path chalte chalte

amader ei milon er pala ashuk feere barbar,
er moddhyei pai anondo dedaar... :D

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