Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Painted Memories

The days of seeing yourself through someone else’s eye everyday…..
The days of feeling goosebumps with someone’s touch…..
The days of stealing few glances to your favorite person….
The days of anticipations….
-          Are the best days.
She saw herself like that every day...
She felt the sudden rush of blood whenever his name flashed on her mobile…
She spent hours to decide the outfit before meeting him…and then opted for the most easily available one from there…
He was her favorite person.

He was the perfect person- to her.
The tons of happiness he felt whenever she came to his sight….
The pinch of insecurity came along with that…
Her wondering eyes sometimes produced a strange pain inside his heart…
He knew her smell… He loved that…
Her lips made him many sleepless nights…
She was his favorite person…

Their wings got entangled with each other…
They traveled to the glittery and smoky pubs in Paris…
They traveled to each other's deepest darkest thoughts…
They scared each other…
They got scared of themselves…
They made love!
It was supposed to have a happily ever after!
He was looking at her picture!
That stabbing pain he felt again…
He closed that book and went back to reading the letter he recently got.


It was left in his favorite book that he couldn't check in last few years.
                                    ------------******-------------

It was more like a page from her personal diary than a letter.
He went through the words millions of times and still reading it.

"I never felt I could suddenly leave everything behind. I never felt anything wrong. That day when you started to fake that smile, I knew something was terribly wrong. I could almost see what’s there beneath the eyes. Even now I am in excruciating pain and I can see the anxiety in your eyes. I know you are wiping of the tears silently standing in the veranda so that you can come up with a smile in front of me. I am trying to have faith on your faith. But I want you to have faith in your belief. I cannot see that. Somehow I can feel the end, but I don’t want to. As I always used to say the journey of life is exhilarating, painful, definitely worthwhile and most definitely progressive. I have a feel that my journey is ending. You cannot hide the vacuum in your eyes through your smile. The way you clutch my hands during my sleep I know that touch. I still have belief in you. I don’t want you to lose the hope. Your hope and strength is my last resort. This might be the last page I am able to scribble on. I wanted this book from you so that I can read something while taking rest in this boring and dull sky blue hospital bed. They should make hospital more colorful you know. This shade of blue is boring and depressing. The pain is bothering me. Also, I know you will soon be here beside me once you finish talking to the doctor. Don’t know how long. Now I guess it does not matter whether I want to live or not. You must not forget to enjoy the exhilarating journey of life. As I always say, it is worth all the pain. If there is anything called afterlife most probably I will see you from there. Till then love yourself and don’t stop yourself from falling in love. With anything or anybody."

He shivered again. The scorching heat outside failed to provide him any warmth. He never failed anywhere. The pain of the biggest failure happened 6yrs back. He lost all hope. It was today he thought of rearranging the book shelf and suddenly touched the book he just kept there for last 6yrs untouched. He wanted to keep her touch sealed in that book. Today, this book suddenly played few scenes from the most painful memory of his. He decided to take a trip to the riverside to spend some time alone. 

                                                  --------********----------

Riverside never fails to make him connect with his sole. He once decided to not to bring the cigarettes there ever and he still follows that. The wet feeling in his toe suddenly bought him back to present. The cute little puppy said a lot with its round black eyes. He took it and then suddenly understood the meaning of love all over again. He took that cute little four legged creature home.


Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Beneath the cold eyes

I cannot see anything…..Why did you call me here in this dark and mysterious wood?
Your hands seem cold….Mine is sweating… I don’t understand you sometimes…
I am not fond of darkness, I get scared…

I thought you planned for a romantic outing…this was not what I imagined!
Well, I didn’t imagine anything… I could not. Every time you came in front, my imagination stopped right there…  All my fantasies came true.

The first time I saw you, in that white dress… you were struggling with your unmanageable hair... I felt jealous of the breeze… your eyes were hiding behind your waye hair and all I could see was your lips. I wanted to touch them with mine… But… You looked distant…and suddenly you smiled at me!

Looking at you does not give me peace now… It somehow stirs the passion inside me… every day I feel more attracted to you… but you seem to have some other plans in mind… and finally I can now see your face illuminated of the moonlight… your eyes are still and you seem to be confident about where we are going…

I am not feeling well, I am chilled from within. I need to smoke.
I wonder whether I have ever told you about my fear of darkness!!!
WHY DID you stop here now!! I thought we are supposed to go somewhere little illuminated… This is insane!! You know INSANE!!!
Where are you!!! You did you leave my hand!!! I cannot even hear the sound of your breathing! Its cold here and…and  I feel something even colder around my legs!!!! … it’s moving upward…
Where are you!!!
WHERE ARE YOU!!!

WH… …… …………

Monday, January 06, 2014

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Parallel Universe

Say we were in London...nah Paris...in a smokey n rugged pub...Tourists? ummm yeah...

You are sipping the beer and looking at it intently.. Then you looked at me.. What did you see? Nothing. Your concentration went back to the mug full of beer again.

That fat and oddly dressed lady is looking at you. She is drunk. Why are you giving her a distasteful look? Ohh, you are looking at that singer. Yeah, She is beautiful. She sings pretty well too. 

What is there in your beer that you seem so interested in it? I am sitting right in front of you. Looking at you. You did not even notice that.. Ohh, you did. What are you saying? what am I looking at? well, err... nothing..

I placed my hand on the table for quite some time..it was within your reach. Did you see that? So, you are now reaching at the cigarette. I think I need one too.

What are you looking at? My cigarette? or the glass of wine? Did you see this new one shoulder dress I'm wearing? My red lips? The blackish blue kohl in my eye? or, the beer still appeals to you more?

Aah, here comes the cold coffee and sandwich for you. How did I imagine this place as a smokey pub in Paris? well, all I can say is my imagination is better than your silence and helps to kill the time in a better way. Your food has arrived and with that the end of this bizarre post too.

Saturday, January 04, 2014

End of a dream....and world!

…….And then I checked your mobile. Your inbox was empty.
I had to kill you.
I always feared that you would got hurt while cutting things with this knife. Now it seems handy for me to have my work done.
You made no sound.
The crimson liquid was getting soaked in the white bed sheet.
You still look beautiful.
Just an hour ago, when you were still sitting on my couch, sipping my glass of wine- I was looking at you.
I saw that spark in your eyes…I started undressing you… For the last time.
The luscious lips as always got all my attention- and other parts too.
I was searching in your body that you thought as exploring….
I was searching for a way to kill you… to free you from your burden…
I know you have made that call to them… they are coming to arrest me, to take me to unknown prisons.
I can hear their movement on the stairs now…2 more minutes…
You once said that you do not want to live after I die…
I fulfilled that wish… I freed you from that… I freed you from your consequences…
The footsteps are coming closer…
My time has come…
Click…click click… its EMPTY!!!! Where are the bullets??? Why did you hide them???? I need them…
The footsteps came to a halt….

KNOCK!!! KNOCK!!!
“We know you are inside!!! Surrender yourself NOW!!! There is no way to escape from here…” 

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