HOMO- Sapiens

He heard his mom calling him again from downstairs. He knows everyone is expecting him in the hall but he couldn't move. He knows he needs to be there, after all it's his BIG DAY...His wedding..... He checked his mobile phone again. He couldn't delete the mail he just got. He closed his eyes.

                                                     ***************************

Hey sweets,

What’s up? I know you don’t want my messages or mails. I don’t know your number so this is the only way I have. I am not expecting a reply from you. I never intruded in your decisions and this time also I respect it. You know, there is that cute boy joined my office. I thought of taking him out for coffee but couldn’t approach. Saw your picture on Facebook on other day. Loved your t-shirt. Green suits you even though you hate it :-). Who was the girl with you? Is she the one you are dating now? You were surrounded by girls in some of the pictures. Never saw you like that so…… You know I almost cried... Well, No I did not. I am stronger than that.

After you left, I started working more. My event management company is now looking up. I know, you used to be the pragmatic one and I was always the emotional fool. And see, finally you made the fool of me. Never thought you will get married to any girl one day? Always thought, you could stand tall facing everything, every criticism on your way. Always thought, one day you will come back to surprise me again just like the old time…..

Saw your engagement pictures on Facebook, You were smiling. Were you? Really? How does it feel to be with a girl?

Don’t you miss me? Don’t you miss my hands playing with your hair. Don’t you miss our moments? Don’t you wear the blue shirt anymore? You look hot in that shirt, Always ;) ... Don’t you just wanna be with me? Would you call it off if I come in front of you on your wedding day?

Love.

P.S- Don’t worry. I am not coming. I still replay the moment we have shared. And also, I want to live again, collecting all the shattered pieces for that. Have a happy married life.

                                                     ***************************

He pressed the reply tab and then deleted it. He knows he has lost his love – the only love of his life forever. He couldn't be brave. He couldn't be a rebel. He accepted the fate his family decided for him. He accepted the girl they have chosen for him. He couldn't protest. He just couldn't gather his courage to do so......Because....

Homosexuality is still a crime.... 

Into the Vacuum

He was holding the postmortem report. Shocked!

                                                  -----***-----

“I think I have had enough. Every day I cannot take blame for everything. It is not what I have hoped for. If you lack forgiveness then no one can cure that. You are not God. Do not pretend to be that. Your mistakes are justified because you come up with tear jerking excuses? And I cannot?

Every day for last many years, I was trying. Trying for new things to make you happy, trying to forget myself at times to make you happy. Trying to forget my happiness to make YOU happy! It just never seemed enough.

It’s not the gifts, it’s not the trips, it’s not anything else but you- that killed me. Sorry if I sound selfish but no one has the rights to slow poison me for so long. I haven’t got my life from you. So, you have no right to make me feel like this every day.

Every day I wanted to find out warmth in your eyes. Every day I ended up becoming colder and colder. But you weren't satisfied yet. Sadist? Yes, I think you are a Sadist. No matter how much I try you will continue to magnify your problems and continue to cause and induce more pain in my life.

Acting. Pretending. I am tired of all these. All I wanted is a home. I ended up under the cloudy sky with no shades over my head. It was never a home. You never let me make it one. You will never let me do that.

I am not taking anything from you. Yes, I am taking few things I have kept my soul in. Because you don’t need my soul or anything that is really “mine”. I was in dilemma for last 5-6 weeks. But finally, I decided to not to leave any part of me behind.

Happiness is a state of mind. You never understood that.”

                                            ------***------

He got this mail from her 3 days back during a client meeting. The other news followed soon.

3 days ago-

The car was crashed badly. Hitting the rocky bottom after falling from 3000 ft mountain, one needs miracles to survive. Her luck was never that good. In that crushed car 3 books, 1 pen and her body was found. It looked like a bloody meat lump with some clothes on.

Present day,

He was standing with the post mortem report.

She never said that She was 6 weeks PREGNANT!

The Hospital corridor looked long and endless.

Painted Memories

The days of seeing yourself through someone else’s eye everyday…..

The days of feeling goosebumps with someone’s touch…..

The days of stealing few glances to your favorite person….

The days of anticipations….

-          Are the best days.

She saw herself like that every day...

She felt the sudden rush of blood whenever his name flashed on her mobile…

She spent hours to decide the outfit before meeting him…and then opted for the most easily available one from there…

He was her favorite person.

He was the perfect person- to her.

The tons of happiness he felt whenever she came to his sight….

The pinch of insecurity came along with that…

Her wondering eyes sometimes produced a strange pain inside his heart…

He knew her smell… He loved that…

Her lips made him many sleepless nights…

She was his favorite person…

Their wings got entangled with each other…

They traveled to the glittery and smoky pubs in Paris…

They traveled to each other's deepest darkest thoughts…

They scared each other…

They got scared of themselves…

They made love!

It was supposed to have a happily ever after!

He was looking at her picture!

That stabbing pain he felt again…

He closed that book and went back to reading the letter he recently got.

It was left in his favorite book that he couldn't check in last few years.

                                    ------------******-------------

It was more like a page from her personal diary than a letter.

He went through the words millions of times and still reading it.

"I never felt I could suddenly leave everything behind. I never felt anything wrong. That day when you started to fake that smile, I knew something was terribly wrong. I could almost see what’s there beneath the eyes. Even now I am in excruciating pain and I can see the anxiety in your eyes. I know you are wiping of the tears silently standing in the veranda so that you can come up with a smile in front of me. I am trying to have faith on your faith. But I want you to have faith in your belief. I cannot see that. Somehow I can feel the end, but I don’t want to. As I always used to say the journey of life is exhilarating, painful, definitely worthwhile and most definitely progressive. I have a feel that my journey is ending. You cannot hide the vacuum in your eyes through your smile. The way you clutch my hands during my sleep I know that touch. I still have belief in you. I don’t want you to lose the hope. Your hope and strength is my last resort. This might be the last page I am able to scribble on. I wanted this book from you so that I can read something while taking rest in this boring and dull sky blue hospital bed. They should make hospital more colorful you know. This shade of blue is boring and depressing. The pain is bothering me. Also, I know you will soon be here beside me once you finish talking to the doctor. Don’t know how long. Now I guess it does not matter whether I want to live or not. You must not forget to enjoy the exhilarating journey of life. As I always say, it is worth all the pain. If there is anything called afterlife most probably I will see you from there. Till then love yourself and don’t stop yourself from falling in love. With anything or anybody."

He shivered again. The scorching heat outside failed to provide him any warmth. He never failed anywhere. The pain of the biggest failure happened 6yrs back. He lost all hope. It was today he thought of rearranging the book shelf and suddenly touched the book he just kept there for last 6yrs untouched. He wanted to keep her touch sealed in that book. Today, this book suddenly played few scenes from the most painful memory of his. He decided to take a trip to the riverside to spend some time alone. 

                                                  --------********----------

Riverside never fails to make him connect with his sole. He once decided to not to bring the cigarettes there ever and he still follows that. The wet feeling in his toe suddenly bought him back to present. The cute little puppy said a lot with its round black eyes. He took it and then suddenly understood the meaning of love all over again. He took that cute little four legged creature home.

Beneath the cold eyes

I cannot see anything…..Why did you call me here in this dark and mysterious wood?

Your hands seem cold….Mine is sweating… I don’t understand you sometimes…

I am not fond of darkness, I get scared…

I thought you planned for a romantic outing…this was not what I imagined!

Well, I didn’t imagine anything… I could not. Every time you came in front, my imagination stopped right there…  All my fantasies came true.

The first time I saw you, in that white dress… you were struggling with your unmanageable hair... I felt jealous of the breeze… your eyes were hiding behind your waye hair and all I could see was your lips. I wanted to touch them with mine… But… You looked distant…and suddenly you smiled at me!

Looking at you does not give me peace now… It somehow stirs the passion inside me… every day I feel more attracted to you… but you seem to have some other plans in mind… and finally I can now see your face illuminated of the moonlight… your eyes are still and you seem to be confident about where we are going…

I am not feeling well, I am chilled from within. I need to smoke.

I wonder whether I have ever told you about my fear of darkness!!!
WHY DID you stop here now!! I thought we are supposed to go somewhere little illuminated… This is insane!! You know INSANE!!!

Where are you!!! You did you leave my hand!!! I cannot even hear the sound of your breathing! Its cold here and…and  I feel something even colder around my legs!!!! … it’s moving upward…

Where are you!!!

WHERE ARE YOU!!!

WH… …… …………

3JUSBFBB383A

Parallel Universe

Say we were in London...nah Paris...in a smokey n rugged pub...Tourists? ummm yeah...

You are sipping the beer and looking at it intently.. Then you looked at me.. What did you see? Nothing. Your concentration went back to the mug full of beer again.

That fat and oddly dressed lady is looking at you. She is drunk. Why are you giving her a distasteful look? Ohh, you are looking at that singer. Yeah, She is beautiful. She sings pretty well too. 

What is there in your beer that you seem so interested in it? I am sitting right in front of you. Looking at you. You did not even notice that.. Ohh, you did. What are you saying? what am I looking at? well, err... nothing..

I placed my hand on the table for quite some time..it was within your reach. Did you see that? So, you are now reaching at the cigarette. I think I need one too.

What are you looking at? My cigarette? or the glass of wine? Did you see this new one shoulder dress I'm wearing? My red lips? The blackish blue kohl in my eye? or, the beer still appeals to you more?

Aah, here comes the cold coffee and sandwich for you. How did I imagine this place as a smokey pub in Paris? well, all I can say is my imagination is better than your silence and helps to kill the time in a better way. Your food has arrived and with that the end of this bizarre post too.

End of a dream....and world!

…….And then I checked your mobile. Your inbox was empty.

I had to kill you.

I always feared that you would got hurt while cutting things with this knife. Now it seems handy for me to have my work done.

You made no sound.

The crimson liquid was getting soaked in the white bed sheet.

You still look beautiful.

Just an hour ago, when you were still sitting on my couch, sipping my glass of wine- I was looking at you.

I saw that spark in your eyes…I started undressing you… For the last time.

The luscious lips as always got all my attention- and other parts too.

I was searching in your body that you thought as exploring….

I was searching for a way to kill you… to free you from your burden…

I know you have made that call to them… they are coming to arrest me, to take me to unknown prisons.

I can hear their movement on the stairs now…2 more minutes…

You once said that you do not want to live after I die…

I fulfilled that wish… I freed you from that… I freed you from your consequences…

The footsteps are coming closer…

My time has come…

Click…click click… its EMPTY!!!! Where are the bullets??? Why did you hide them???? I need them…

The footsteps came to a halt….

KNOCK!!! KNOCK!!!

“We know you are inside!!! Surrender yourself NOW!!! There is no way to escape from here…” 

~Canvas~

Muhurtora khoniker hoy
duhaat diye oder chepe dhor!
mutho bondi hole pore oder
chotjoldi framebondi kor!

Diyechilam muhurtoder jhaank
Tor chokhe tobu udaasinota;
Muhurtora hariye jachhe dekh;
Hariye jachhe tor amaar kotha!

Aye na abaar notun smriti gori,
Notun notun muhurto te bhora...
Shada kalo noy rongin canvas-e
Sukhi shundor muhurto-te amra!

~Niye chol Tara der desh e...~

Keno amar motoi holam,
keno holam na tor moto?
Podokhepe mile jeto mon
Miliye jeto somossyara joto.

Keno holam na tor moton
Keno bujhini tor betha?
Hoyto dhore rakhte partam
Aaj o thaakto haasi, kotha...

Keno mone pore
Keno sopne aasis tui?
Etogulo maas poreo
Toke je pashe chai...

Mone pore jay dingulo
Mone pore tor mukh...
Juddho kore klanto laage
Nei tor koler sukh...

Sesh kichudin ekla achi khub
Tui royechhis dur tarader deshe...
Juddho klanto amaay dekhte pele...
Bosbi ektu eshe amar pashe?

~chol harai~

Tor kotha shunbo

naki nijer kotha,

Bolto?

Aajke borong

hariye jai abaar,

Cholto.

Meghla akaash aaj

Brishti namuk,

Ojhore,

Bikel seshe

Vijbo jokhon dujone

Haat dhore.

Chupi chupi jokhon

hobo brishtisnato

Nirjone,

Jokhon raater kole

haarabo notun kore

Dujone.

~Kobita~

Hoyto vebechili sudhui shada pata,
Kichu ortho bihin hijibiji kata;
Jaanina hoyto fele diyechis
Hoyto hariye geche amaar kobita!

Jaanina tui vebechili kichu;
Naki sudhui kichu chhondoboddho lekha;
Toke lekha somosto byarthota
Koekta sei purono holud pata!

Sabar jonno ekechilam chhobi;
Tor jonno roilo, amaar byarthota!
Shada kalo moner ondhokare
Amaar aami-r chhondo bihin lekha!

Porte paarchhis to?

~okaron~

Mon tor kharap howa baron...
Chokher kone bristi namuk..
Kapuk thont jora...
Mon kharap laga okaron!

Mon tor kharap howa baron...
Je jai boluk...
Bidrup koruk...
Mon kharap thakai jibon!

~Moricheeka~

Ghorer baire rasta chhilo dui...

Ekta poth chhobir moton jeno...

Onno pothe dariye chhili tui!

Chhobir moton pothke bole "biday"

Onno pothe bariyechilam paa;

Pother baanke hariye gelam kothay!

Chokh jholsay jhilik dewa aaloy;

Manush gulo sudhui manush rupi....

Bhulbhulaiya, Bhul dharonar boloy!

Pother seshe sukher morichika...

Pothik aami pother khoje ghuri;

Poth ta jeno boroi aanka-baanka!

~Protichhobi~

Aaj onekdin por vebechilam
likhbo chhondobodhho;
boslam niye pen-khata
thik tokhoni mon-ta obadhho!
Kichhu chhera pataar smriti
Kichhu elomelo tukro din;
Shada kalor canvas korlo rongin!
Amaar thonte chhuye gelo tor thont
Haate roye gelo ushnotar poros;
Hothat venge gelo ghum
Dhulo dhuklo chokher kone!
Raater seshe notun kore shuru
Notun pothe nityonotun chola;
Ar notun notun sukher golpo bola.
Raat birete hothat ke jeno daake
Daak shune vaabi kono ochin pakhi?
Daakta tobuo bhishon rokom chena;
Hoyto aami nijei, hoyto khub ochena!
Aayena ta ottohasi haase
Amaar aami daariye mukhomukhi!
Protichhobi byango kore bole,
"Aaye dekhi tui thik kotota sukhi..."

~Barbonita~

Bolchhe swopno, bujte chokh
Mukhosh? Naki kutsit mukh?

Baastobete vir er majhe
Byasto sabai nijer kaaje...

Monta aatka goraad jaale
Hoyna kobita, shorir mile!

Tukro kagoj, dey biliye
Sosta shorir, jachhe khoye!

Ottohasi, udaas mukhe
Eito, dibbi aachhi sukhe!

~ogochhalo kheyal~

Kobitara elomelo....
Monkharaper chhoway
Mon ogochhalo!!

Sondhera baari jay
Raat pakhider danay
Sopno sundori sajay!

Rongin aalo
Rukhho, teebro bhishon;
Chokh dhadhalo!

Pashapasi haat
Osompurno..rikto..
adh khaoa coffee cup!

Urche Smriti...
Urche onuvuti edik sedik;
Urlo haway ushno priti!

~Agaami~

Ekta bikel hothat holo sesh
Hothat kore holo sopno vongo;
Haaste haaste haralo hasir karon
Jibon hothat khelna, tamasha-rongo!

Bhirer majhe hariyechilo amaar aami
Hajar mukher majhe boddo komdaami...
haarjiter khelay kistitei maat...
Stobdho amaar ochena agaami...


Chokher saamne chollo bio-scope
Smritira sab film hoye chole...
Bondho chokh, bondho kaan...
Tobu smritichinho ra kotha bole!


Khaader pare jibon jokhon sosta
Bhishon khudro nijer chokhe jokhon...
Pichhon firey dekhlo hothat mon...
Dariye chhilo amaar aponjon!

~Durotto~

Roshnai te dhadhiye chhilo chokh...

Bhirer majhe nijei chhilam ochena;

Camera bondi nanan mukher saari

Ochena sab mukher aanagona!

Tarporete hothat kore jokhon

Nirjhorer sopno holo churno...

Valobasar hariye gelo pran...

Holo coffin bondi soddojato sopno!

Haariye geche onuvuir shikor...

Joler hawa deyna sporsho tor....

Aaj haater faankai pore aache

onuvutira laagiyechhe aaj dor!

Firti pothe cholbena ar mon...

Notun pothe egiye cholte chay...

Nahoy thaakuk anguler faank khali

pother baanke apatoto bidaay!!

~Khonik Smriti~

Bolechhile....

tomar chokhe roder chhite laguk
tomar thonte laguk projapoti
tomar hasi jhorna dharay vanguk
vanguk tomar thomke jaoa goti...

Bolechhile......

tomar hate uthuk premer mala
tomar paye bajuk premer nupur;
tomar chhoyay jibon joyar asuk
namuk onuvutir bristi tapur tupur....

Tobu keno....

amaar shorir jure borof shitolota
amaar chokher joleo ovaab ushnotar!!
aaj sabar majhe beche thekeo jeno...
Chokh khulle sudhui ondhokaar!!

~Saap-siri~

Nijhum raate sopno dekha jay...
Surjaloke sotty ki ta hoy?
chokher sopno chokher konei sesh
Bastobete thakena taar resh.

Haaste haaste kanna rukhte chay...
Kaandte kaandte haaste sekha jaay?
Haasir shobdo kanna hoye jhore...jokhon
Chokher joler hiseb haway orey...

ektu adhtu chhilo hisheb baki
sedik thekeo khatay bishal faanki!!
gormilete millo na to mon
jog biyoge haralo aponjon...

haater faanke arekta haat mele...
haasi thatta bondhutter chhole;
Hothat kono jhorer paake pore
Se haat kachhe thekeo onek dure...

Jibon chokre saap siri te bondi
kothay shuru kothay hobe sondhi...
Jotil totte haariye gechhe mon...
Saap siri-te joriye jibon japon!

~Megh Brishti~

Megh bolechhe raag hoychhe...
Mukh firiye amar theke...
Valobasha brishti dhuye...
haariye gechhe rod mekhe.

Megh ke chai brishti niye...
Moner majheo brishti chaai;
Hothat kore mon kharaape...
Toke niyei bhijte chai...

Iti... Meghbalika!

~Noishobdo~

Bikel seshe neon alor deshe
urchhe dhulo, baarchhe byastota;
keuba chhote ghor er dike...
karo chokhe onno madokota!

Tuio kemon palte gechhis...
Ochena bhishon..onek onek dur;
Tor sporsho jantrik boro aaj
Tor kothay...onno kono sur!

Khujchi koto, pachhina to
Kiser khoj taao jaanina!
Shunte kichu kaan pete roi...
.............................
Shunnyota te, Mon maanena!

~O-Purno~

Jokhon chhonnochhara sur kete...
alokito poth meghachhonno goli;
Tor kotha mone pore hothat...
Aami nijer mone nijeke hariye feli.

Jokhon baloonwalar laal sobujer jhaanke
Ekta duto smritir lukochuri;
Tor na bola sab onuvutir sporshe...
Aami jukti torke notun kore haari.

Jokhon somapti te osomaptir dhoni..
Purnota ra opurnoi roy;
Gopon kichu "sab peyechhi" baade
Jibon ta je ichha puron noy!

~Oghoton~

Moner kotha bujhbe ke aaj bol...
Ore mon...nijer moto chol.
Somaj jaale aatke sopno onek...
Sopno...tui jiriye ne khonik.

Kichu bethar hoyna kono bhaasha...
Ar kichu betha...boroi sorbonasha.
Mathar bhitor bethachhonno...
Sukhosmriti... Sporsho ushno.

Thonter vaanje lukiye onek kotha...
Na bola kichu...kichu gopon betha.
Nitikothay joriye chupkothara...
moner konay poth vulechhe ora.

Jodi ghote jay...kono rupkotha...
Pokhhiraaje moner mita.
Baariye duhaat aalingone...
Raajputro...Rajkonnye.

~Rudhho duwar ~

Kokhono koborkhana gechis?
Tor moner kone..
ondho gopone?
chora bali ar
mritodeho jekhane...
smriti bondi aaj...
somoy osudh
korchena ar kaaj...

kokhono paaper haat dhorechhis?
Bondho ghore...
ekla dujone
bahu bondhone???
Ushno shorir topto
dheuer moto ekotro...
swarthopor somoy tokhon...
sab paaper opore...
niyom bhangar duware...

Kokhono aagune haat diyechhis?
odommo ek akorshon...
Agun chhowar nidorshon...
Hisheb vule adim khelay...
Motto shorir shorire...
Sobhyotara mukh lukiye
Ekanto gopon aadore!!!

Random

Mon kharaper jhor uthechhe...

Moner majhe...
Brishti nemeche...
Polok bhaari..
Moner kotha keu...
Sunche na je...


********************************
Moner duwar khulchena aaj...
Bondho kopaat;
Urchhe jhaanke
Shalikra sab;
Bekar Koraghaat


********************************


 somaj jokhon haat paa bedhe rakhe
moner kone jole agun
dhiki dhiki...
boro biswad mone hoy
Niyom badha
Rojnamchar Jibon...


********************************


 sunche na j moner mita...
boddo obujh
boroi jotil je se...
aaj mone hoy
sopno sab e
haway gechhe mishe...


********************************


assas noy bedona sudhui
chokher patay....
bristi hoye jhorche;
maanche na baadh..
joma kothara golar majhe
dola pakiye morchhe...


********************************


Nodi bolechhe bodlabe poth...
baanker seshe
ekla paare...
bose aachhe se;
meghla mone...
haariye gechhe...
megher e deshe...
*************************************


megh ketechhe rod uthbe bole
jhor thambe
notun shuru hobe...
kichu aador
jole dhuye jabe...
baki sab smriti hoye
mone roye jabe...

~Chhinno Bhinno~

Golpo shurur sedin gulo
Mishti dushtu bhishon...

Aaj golpo seshe hothat kore

Purono hochhe apon....

Haater opor haat chhilo

Thonte coffee-r cup...

Aajke jeno chardike te

Depression er chhap...

Onekdur e ogyatbas e...

Kono raater ondhokare...

Sobhyotara miliye jaay..

Unmukto shorire....

Chhutir dupur, batanukul

Shitol tobu ushno....

Thonter opor thont chhnuwe jaay

Bhasiye sab prosno....

Sobhyotader mukh mukhose

Niyom kanun jaale;

Chhinno shorir chhinno monon

Gopon chhutir bikele...

Tobu jibon chole nijer taale

Chhono chhara chhonde mile;

Karo chokher kone dufota jol

Karo mukhe
mithye hasir kolorol...

~kichu tukro kotha elomelo~

Diner seshe saanjhbelay
Raatpori der vaangchhe ghum;
Klanto shorir, dirghoshas
Sesh bikeler klanto mon...

Raatpori der chokher maya
Jachhe chhnuye klanto mon;
Mon kharaper thonter chhnoway
Smritir kone aaponjon...

Sheeter bikel jomjomaat
Rongin shaal, sutor kaaj;
Sobuj maathe roder aador
Moner kone smritir bhaanj...

ar tarpor...

Rupkothader patay patay
Chupkotha ra chup kore;
Raatpori der golpo pore...
Haariye jaay chupisaare...

~Dhusor~

Laal neel rong paltay
Shada kalo dhusore...
Swopnera sab palti khay
Dusopner dosor-e...

Ichhe chhilo ichhe gulor
pakhna mele orar...
rongin palok chhinnovinno
ichhamrityu amaar...

Ostitwo dori taanchhe
vul ar thik er majhe
jibon ta aj felna boro
laagchena ar kaaje...

Somoy kuriye barano raat
bunto kothar sopno,
kothar jhuli shunyo je aj
kejane kar jonno...

ekta duto muhurto rao
sudhui chup thaake...
somoy ghori thomke geche
ke jane kon baanke...

Smritir goli ghoraghuri
mon manena mon
koshtogulo golay chepe
haaschhi sarakhon :D

~Betha~

Aandhar raate eka bichhanay
Haat paa chhoriye shuye;
Mone pore jaay raater adda
Smriti vaase chokh chhnuye...

Mone pore sab haasi kannay
Golay bondho koshte;
Smriti bare bar mathachara dey
ar bandhe aaste prishte...

Chokh chole jaay khali haat tay
Shunnyo haater pata;
Thomke daray somoy chakay
Na rakha kothar betha...

Bare bare sei khali ayenay
Kono chhaya khuje fera;
Jara chole jay megher deshe
Firey ki aase tara?

~Gotanugotik~

Somantoral rail line er sathe
Kothay jeno jibon badha aache...
Ku jhikjhik chhondobodhho sur-e
Jibon chhote thik orokom kore...

Gotir sathe gotanugotik chola
Notun notun mukh-mukhos er mela;
Mukh paltay somoy chakaar sathe
Notun kono chhaya chhobir gotey...

Tarpor...
Jatra seshe vinno pothe chola...
Roilo pore kichu kotha na bola!

~Bastab~

Eknishto, onabil tobuo
Otripto tomar chhowa...
Chhinno moner onuvutira
Valobasar Mrito Kaya;

Tobu mone hoy
Jhor aaschhe vishon..Gohon;
Dhongsho smriti, bilupto bastab
Vangche sopno, Vangbe monon!

~Harano~

Raat bolechhe raater sathe
Golpo hobe chupkotha te...
Nibir jokhon chokher pata
sopno sukher kono barta...

Hothat kore hothat jokhon
Ghumta vange jokhon tokhon...
Aabchhayate ondhokare
Ekla bhishon ekla ghore...

Sesh kichhudin sesher pothe
Onek smriti jachhe ghete...
Brishti esey jaachhe dhuye
Megher kotha buke niye...

Pother dhaare khelchhe kara
Chena to noy ochena ora...
Boddo je sukh oder chokhe
maatir dewale dukhho dheke...

Bohutol er koner ghore
Ekla je keu ei sohore...
raater sathe raat kaatiye
Bastobe te jaatra kore...

This was my 2nd Birthday without you...
I miss the birthday mornings when you used to wake me up with a smile, wishes, card, pen, book and cadbury. I used to wait for that eagerly. So eagerly. Birthdays do not seem happy anymore. I used to get the things I ever thought of. They were small but full of love. Your love :).
Birthdays are not same anymore.

I wake up with the pain of not having you there anymore.
I wake up with the nothingness inside.
I wake up with a feeling that no one will be there in the kitchen making murighonto and chingri malaikari for me.
I wake up with a vacuum in my heart.
I wake up with whatever you taught me and I smile.
I check my mobile to see your smiling face and I smile.
The day passes well...I get gifts...I cut the cake...went out to have dinner...Swissotel this year...But there is nobody backhome to tell the stories...nobody to ask every small details and give small inputs...
Life has taught me to come out of my utopia...to accept the rough life...n to forget the fairy tales...
May be there is an alter world...there is a place where you can watch me...n may be I am there too...just now smiling with you...You are stroking your hand lightly on my head n trying to calm me down...
Another 20th July...another B'day...another day with gifts n surprizes...

without You..

~raat 2:30er hothat lekha text message~

Bikel sesher sondhye bela,
poob akaashe megher mela;
nodir buke megher chhaya
sandho kalin klanto hawa...
pakhir dana ghorer tane.
mon ta chhote ghorer paane,
ekla bose ekla mon..
ghor hariye mon kemon!
ektu haasi khusir khoj-e
ekla boro vir er majhe...
moner majhe chhobir vir...
ghono kuashay raat govir;
bishonnota ghirchhe vishon,
haar maanche moner shashon;
tobuo vaabi aasbe provat,
jwolbe aalo kaatbe raat...

~Bisonnota~

Bikel theke onno sur-e
Sukh pakhi oi daakche kaar-e;
Sukher golay dukher taan
Kothay jeno haariye pran!

Bikel seshe saanjher saaje
Jwolche aagun moner majhe;
Opekhhate chhilo kaaro
nirjhorer aaj sahos boro!

Saanjh aakashe joler daag
Megher rumal dhaakche raag!
Tobuo hothat brishtipaat
Jokhon
Dukhho sukher dhorlo haat!

~Mon kharaap~

Raat birete monkharaap
Aandhar dhaka gopon paap;
Raat furole purbe din
Roder sathe rongrongin.

Rong er chhite canvas-e
Shada kaalor chaarpaase;
Shada kaaloy jibon chhobi
Chaar haate aaj poth harabi?

Hothat kono pother baanke
Hoyto paabi sopno ta ke;
Sopno boroi sopnomoy
Duhsahoser dey porichoy...

Haariye giye haarabe mon
notun aabeg kichhu puraton;
Porichito jibon vuley
Jibon chole nijer chaal-e.

~elomelo~

Tor jonnye jwelechilam aalo
Likhechilam elomelo kotha...
Toke niye chhilo khusi sab
Haasi kanna valolaga ar betha.

Hoyto sesab thunko sab e aaj
Valobasar nei kono ar daam...
Manush sudhui rokto mangshe gora...
Takar sathe ojon howa naam!

Hoyto esab vul dharona amaar...
Roopkotha te vulechhilaam sab;
Raajputro haariye gechhe kothao
Roopkothara mook, bodhir o nirob!

Oteet smriti khorakhuri hole...
Manush tokhon manush to ar noy...
Vaalor sathe kharap khuje pelei
Jibon khaatar hishebe vul hoy?

~smriti-charon~

Mon kharaper dorja khule rekhe...
Brishti daake moner kona hote;

Jaanala diye brishti veja mon
Jaachhe vije smritir kolahol...

Chokh bujle smritir prekhapot
Flashbacke te khusir chhobi hothat...

Khulte chokhe chaaichhena aaj mon
Ondhokaar e mrityu chaaiche monon...

Jibon sudhu jibon niye khela
Mukhos pora mukh mukhoser mela!

Manush hoye milbe naa aaj mote
Thunko hisheb saamne esey jote...

Oteet sudhu oteet jokhon noy
Valobasha-ta oteet smriti hoy!

~Jodi~

Jodi boli urbe pother dhulo
Jodi boli hariye jabe poth
Jodi boli sopno sudhui vanga
Jodi soriye ni aaj haat...

Tobe ki

Themey jaabe tomar onuvuti?
Themey jabe gopon kotha bola?
Themey jabe notun sopno dekha
Thamiye debe eksathe poth chola?

Abar

Jodi boli du vaag hobe sagor
Jodi boli pahar khujibe chand?
Jodi boli harabe snighdhotara
Jodi vange chokher jol aaj baandh?

Tokhon

Themey jabe tomar haater porosh
Themey jabe chupkothara abar
Themey jabe ushno saannidhyo
Themey giyeo poth cholbe abaar...

Tarpor hothat

Jodi pothe thaamte vule jao
Rajkonnye bondi hobe abaar...
Jodi firey aaste kobhu chaao
Rupkothara poth dekhabe ferar...

~Porihaas~

Jhukchhe aalo
Uthchhe akash...
Bikel sesher
Snigdho batas...
Shanti aane
Topto dine...
Aagun tobu
Moner kone...

Raat purechhe
sei aagune...
Joler chhnowa
Bashpo haane..
Rikto smriti
Shunno chokh...
Andhar mone
haraye sukh...

Jhor esechhe
Vishon hothat...
urchhe dhulo
Vangche kopat...
smritir dhulo
aaj porihaas...
bhobishyoter
Kono itihaas...

~Pothik~

Jokhon
Dupure bela aandhar aase neme
Roder taape purchhe chokher jol;
Hothat kore moner porda uthe
chokher saamne smritir kolahol...

Tor jonnye aankini kono chhobi
Tor jonnye likhini kobita...
Vaabtam bujhi bujhis je tui sab
Na bola sab gopon moner kotha...

Aanka sekha tor haat ta dhore
Kobitagulo o tor kaan chhuye jeto...
Mishti haasir onuvuti ta chhara..
Bakkyogulo ki konodin pran peto??

Aajke jokhon hothat chokhe vaase
Mondo valor kichhu muhurtora...
Smritigulo jotno kore rakhi...
Moner majhe thaakuk bondi ora!

Aajo majhe majhe sporsho pete chai
Tarporete bujhi brithai chaaoa...
Taai notun kore nama pother khoje
Pothik hoyei poth ke khuje jaoa..

~Shunyo~

Shunyotara odvut hoy boro
Dhorte tader para jaay na motey...
Naa thekeo obaadh jatayat
Jokhon tokhon moner majhe jotey...

Dupur seshe raatri hothat naamle
Moner majhe shunnyota ke pabey...
Chokher jole balish vijbe jokhon
Shunyotader jatayat baarbe...

Tobu jodi juddho korte chaao
Shunyota ke shunyo kore dekho...
Haater mutho alga koro ebar...
Smritider sab jotno kore rakho!

Smritir aghaat shunyotake daake
Shunyotader songi shunyo mon...
Smritir sathe juddho kothin boro
Jodhhokhetro tomaar amaar jibon!

~Smritir pata~

Jokhon

Manush haray smritir patay...
Abchha aadhipotyo;
Shunnyo ghore edik odik
chhinnovinno ostitto!

Badami molat haway orey...
Moner tepantorey;
Naa haranor shorto sab e
Haray ogochorey!

Shikol diye baandhbe jibon
Mrityu badhonchhara;
Smritir patay obadhyota
Baron manena ora...

Cholte giye klanto jokhon
Dwiprohor er somoy;
Ekla ekla dukkho vuley
Ekakittwo sohay...

Cholte pothe thaamte hobe
Khonik khushir khoje...
Swopno hoye kothao jodi...
Aashar nupur baje!

~chhondo- Boddho~

raater kahini- vebechilam naam
tarpor likhte vule gelam...

sopno vongo- nirjhorer ekar?
sopno nei sopno niye bachar...

ekta duto shobdo aase haate
chhondogulo haray khorcha khaate...

judhho kore shobdo lekha hoy
vabna gulo tobu kuwasamoy...

bodle geche jibon naki ami??
uttor nei, aaj prosnotai daami...

~Bhabna~

Raat purechhe chaander chhoyay
Megher faanke neerer aashay;
Chaandni raate khola jaanlay
Notun shuru premer ochhilay...
Ekla aache dariye mon
Ekakitter khujchhe karon;
Okaal smriti drisshyomaan
Moner kone roye pichhutaan...
Firbena se somoy kaal...
Bolchhe somoy- "Egiye Chol".

~Jatra~

sedin jhor otheni....
tobe hawa boichhilo....
tobuo monta gumot...
jhor aaste chaichhilo....
tobuo....jhor otheni...
bondho chhilo dwar...
mukto hote chaichhilo jibon
bondho thaakte chaichhilona ar...

sedin jhor otheni...
sudhu mone chhilo bristipaat
adhar jokhon dhaaklo protichhobi
ondhokarei chhere gelo haat...
swadhinota naamti chhilo taar...
kothay kokhon kon namate aase...
keu janena ki tar thikana...
vul thikanay daray esey pashe...

sei thikanay dhukle porbe chokhe
onumoti kebol ekakitter
ekbarti dhuke gele sethay..
ghurbe jibon chhinnovinno britte...
pother seshe poth hariye gele...
gontobbyo jhapsa hoy chokhe...
haater sathe arekta haat mile
haarato jodi notun pother baanke...

ekla pothe ekakittoi sathi
dujonetei gontobbyo hoy...
dujon jodi dudik diye chhote...
se poth chola boroi dwondomoy....
ektu nahoy dhire chole dekho...
Jibone te somoy onek beshi...
ekla hoye chhutle ki ba sukh..
jokhon shunyotara haasbe ottohasi?

~Swopno-Vongo~

Sopnera sab hariye gechhe
Niruddesher paane...
Ebaar aami debo paari
Ojanaar sondhaane.

Hawar saathe urchhe sopno
Dhulobaalir jhor-e...
Thunko boroi; Vongur ora,
Sudhui Venge pore.

Odhora sab sopnogulo
Ronger chhnoway chhobi...
Venge gele chhoriye pore
Chhera tukro sab-e...

Mrityu ghote ogochore
Koto sopno chhobir...
Khoj melena hothat kore
Ekla moner chaabir.

~Dheu~

Srote vese chole ora...
Chokhjora swopnera;
dheu aase dheu jaay,
Kichhu betha nirashay...

Shada nil jolrashi,
Kichhu kotha kichhu haasi;
Bali kona thaake pore..
Eka dur kinare.

Rashi rashi smriti sab
Govirei jome thaak...
Tobu mon firey chay
sagorer Balukay.

~Elomelo~

Onno amaar onno aami...
kaaler baanke thomke agami;
sedin chhilo obadh jatayat
aaj
haariye gechhe sesab daami raat.

aajke nisedh probesh duare...
Nabola kotha baarchhe hajar-e!
Saanjh akaashe baali-dhulo
Amaar haariye jaoa kotha gulo...
hothat haralo chirotore...
amaar moner ontore!


Keu shunte paabe ki??

Badhon

I almost left writing....absolutely....n finally a couple of nights ago..penned it down while talking to somebody....we're not really talking..it was fighting....may be itz not a good one...but itz a come back one for sure....


Char dewale bondho sobai...
Bondho shorir, bondho monon;
Ondho chokhe bondho kaalo...
R khola chokhe nivchhe agun.

Raater taray sopno bondho...
Haater chhnoyay smriti;
Moner kone bondho asha...
Jotil jibon priti.

~Poth~

Kotha gulo fossil,
Aar shobdu gulo muk...
Ushno chokhe shitolota
Dukher faande sukh...

Nitya notun jibon khela,
Dur pallar gari...
Ojana station e thaamle pore
Nana poshrar saari...

Ku jhik jhik jibon track-e
Haray moner rong...
Klanto shorir shranto mone
Jibon abohomaan...

~Khela~

Uttopto sondhebelar buke
Ushno chokhe kaalbosekher chhoya
Bristi tokhon shada kalo chhobi
Onuvitura shukno mrito kaya…

Monkharaper golpo shuru abaar
Baakrudhho holo jotil mon
Tobuo kichhu asha niye chokhe
Betha baray ochena mon kemon…

Sopno gulo sopno hoyei thaake
Bastobta sudhui dhusor dhulo
Sokal sondhe kabyo khelar iti
jibon bollo- “amaar sathe khelo”

Jitte jitte hothat ulto chaale
saap ludo te shuru odhopoton
khelar majhe ottohasi hese
jibon chole nijer ichhe moton….

~Aajke~

Aajke nahoy tomar rojer
Rojnaamchar chhuti,
Aajke sudhu moner khatay
Ektuku khunsuti;

Aajke nahoy office tomar
Sopnoloker deshe,
Aajke sudhu notun kore
Vijbo valobeshe...

Aajke hothat bristi chokhe
Haariye jabar daak,
Purono sab sopnogulor
Notun hobar sokh;

Aajke sudhu opor theke
Badhon aasuk kepe;
Aaye bristi amaar kachhe
Dukhho debo mepe.

~Shobdo Jobdo Kabbyo~

Onekgulo shobdo pasapashi
Vison vabe kanna rukhte chay...
Michimichi khelnabatir ghor
Kabbyo diye manush chena day...

Mithye jokhon kobir kolpona
Shobdora sab kolonkito doshe;
Muchhe jaay valobasar sukh
Kanna gulo firey firey aase.

Haatta kape muchhte giye sristi
Vaalobasar chhonnochhara roop;
Muchhe diye mishti kichhu srishti
Shunnyo mon hothat ondhokoop.

Araal kore kajol kaalo chokh
Chokh dhekechhi mukhosh diye aami...
Mukh mukhose hariye giye jeno
Nijeo holam boddo komdaami...

pashapashi chena duto mukh
Ochena hothat ojana onuvobe...
Purono kabbyo dhongso hoye tokhon
Notun chhonde kabbyo likhte hobe...

~Raat Jaga Tara~

Khurchhe otit raater noishobdo
Chokher kole brishti koek phonta
Aalor khoje aalokito ekakittyo
Aankre dhore byasto obujh monta...

Diner aloy hariyechhe tarara
raater kolei sopnera ot paate
Moner sopno chokher sopno hoye
mishe jay dhusor purono smritite...

nishobde ulka khose pore
ei sohor alokito boro besi
ekhane mukhose kanna nirob
ochena thikana khoje prem porodesi...

~Opekhha~

Aanjla kore kaajla chokher tuk,
Nikti mapa dukhho bilas sukh;
Kaajla chokher niche kaajol rekha
Ektu kore sukh chinte sekha...

Sukher naame chomke otha haansi,
Tobu dukher kothay vaabte valobasi;
Bachuk jibon dukho betha vule
Nijer moton ojana poth chole...

Opekhhara haater muthoy ese
Sopnogulo rekhe jaak vaalobese;
Kaatbena raat opekhhader sathe
Opekhhara miliye jaa na raate...

Sukh bolechhe amaar sathe aari
Dukh ke rekhe diyeche sagor pari;
Dukh bolechhe sukh ke ebaar volo
Sukh puriye raater aagun jaalo...

~Ektu Onno Rokom~

Onno rokom golpo gulor
Onno rokom maane...
Onno maane onno keno
Onno loke jaane?

Onno kothao onno chhole
Onno aakash dekhe;
Onno rokom megher buke
Onno bristi chokhe...

Onno tumi onno monon
Onno rokom chhoya;
Onno rokom vabna vebeo
Onno smritir hawa...

Onno rokom dosar khoje
Onno rokom mon;
Onno rokom tor chhayate
Onno mon kemon...

Onno rokom karon okarone
Onno chaoa paaoa;
Onno vaabe onno hoye
Vaalobaste chaaoa...

Jodi hoto onno rokom
Onno rajar konnye...
Onno deshe dishahara
Raajputrer jonnye.

Jokhon,
Onno vabe onno beshe
Pakhhiraje vese...
Jion kathi chhuiye jabe
Rajkonnyer keshe...

Onno rokom vaabna gulor
Onno rokom vasha...
Onno nahoy nai ba holam...
Esab onno aasha.

~Ordho-Poripurno~

Sorchhe porda, vaangchhe dewal
Dewal duchokh jora;
Smritir patay, aankar khaatay
Bonfire e pora...

Khelar chhole, khelay bhuley
Tukro tukro smriti tule;
Ekla dupur, ekla ghore
Hothat moner bondho dor-e
Aadhkhana mon purlo jokhon
Aandhar naame bukey tokhon;
Aadhkhana pothe urchhe dhulo
Aamar aadh bola kotha gulo
Aaj aadha aadhi thaak
Notun chhondo banak...

~Kata-Kuti~

Laav khotir hishab behishebi,
Rakhte giye harai ogochore...
De chhere de aalga bolga horin;
De fele de somoy kochor vore.

Laav khotite harai amaar aami,
Hisheb khatay vul rashi-rashi...
Laav khotir onko dhuye fele;
Chol na ebaar shaanti khuje aasi.

Mithye kore sottyi bolar sukh,
Jokhon aaste kore kaan voriye dey...
Thonter haasi mukher kotha hoye;
Rongin kono onuvuti hoy.

Jog biyoge jogajog vule,
Khelchhi sudhui jeno katakuti...
Aami tui aaj durotto ta muchhe;
Aayna dujon aamra hoye juti.

~Purnochhed~

Esomosto muhurtorao
Obujh hoy boro,
Na-hanyoter sikto prem
Shokto angul dhoro...

Jesab rupkothader
Bachar din aaj;
Bachuk tara rudhhosaas
Patar kon vaaj...

Rupkothara obujh noy
Hoyto aami-e matal;
Taai khujchhi purnota...
Ekta somaptikaal.

~Megh Brishti~

Valobasa chaai brishti niye
Brishti niyei valobaste chai;
Hothat kore brishti ele,
Toke niyei vaaste chai...

Chokhe amaar megh vaasche
Brishti hoyei jhoruk;
Baliyarir dhulobali
Jhoro haway uruk...

Toke chhnuye aagun pohai
Bakyo shobdo-hin;
Tor akaasher ramdhonu rong
Hothat berongin...

Haat ta dhore bosle pashe
Dhongsho sovyota;
Megh-muluke chaand uthechhe
Nijhum mughdhota.

~Prohor~

Aalor prohorira ghumiye geche
Chand paharer aarale...
Money plant ta dulche janlay
Haalka hawar tale...
Phone rekhe diye tuio jeno
Ghumiye gechis kokhon...
Amaar ghorer ghorir kaanta
theme gechhilo tokhon.

Tarpor suru hoy prohor gona
ekta duto tinte...
Kokhon abar aadhar periye
Aasbe aalor chhite...
Aache baki tor moner kotha
Amaay kichhu bolar...
Aami je aajo sopno dekhi
Tor chokhe chokh rakhar...

Bivrantira badhon koreche alga
Chokher kone chhaya...
Moner adhare kuasha jomchhe
Aalogulo jeno aaleya...
Durer siren er shobde
Janan dey notun provat...
Vebechilam onekgulo kotha
Miliye gelo hothat!

Proshno gulo prohore hariye
Kothagulo shobdo hin...
Veja poloke vaari batase
Vaalobasa boddo kothin...
Shuru hobe notun din
Mene niyom chaka...
Na asa ghum vaangate hoy
Saamner poth ta baanka...


Ota perote hobe....

~Rojnaamcha~

Faank pele taal thoke
Faank taale ichhera;
Sujoge te neme aase
Chokh theke bichhura...

Raat jaga duto chokhe
Vese aase sopnera;
Chokh buje mon-pakhi
Aabodhho monmora...

Kaaj seshe chupichupi
Sms e lukochuri;
Jome thaaka dukhho-raag
Chhure fela vaab aari...

Eksaathe pashapashi
Ektuku chokhachukhi;
Hush kore urey jaay
Mon kharaper pakhi.

~Shorto Vanga~

Shorto chhilo haariye jaoa kotha...
Shorto chhilo pashapashi chola;
Shorto venge shitol holo shobdo...
Shorto vengei lokhhyo ekla chola.

Shorto chilo likhte hobe golpo...
Shorto chhilo jitte hobe baji;
Shorto venge likhle jibon gatha...
Shorto venge harte aami raji.

Shorto diye shorir chhonya jaay...
Moner majhe jome ovimaan;
shorto diye kotha gulo chup...
shorto venge vaalobasa mlan.

Shorto diye shikhte hoy haansi...
Shorto diye ushnotara thonte;
Shorto venge tor poripurok holam...
Shorto venge parlina tui chhnute.

~Uttor khujini~

Raat vor hole...
Chaand tarara jaay ghumer deshe;
Pakhi ra daana mele...
Ora ki kotha bole aakashe?

Roj Rode purey
Lokgulo kaaj kore...
Odero ki aache kotha
Moner gopon govire?

Bus er ticket ar tram er bhir-e
Bachhata roj khuje pherey...
Hoyto ba kono chena mukh...
je aaj Bohu durey.

Bishaal aakashe
Concrete er orna legechhe;
Aar mone sonkirnotar chhaya...
Bristisnato bikele aaj hothat
mone holo....
Aami ki Manush,Mon...naaki Kaya???

~Mrityu Nirbaak~

Tumi bolle eso...
raat nil holo,
apel er bishakto chumbone;
Sab rong ek hoye gelo.

Tumi bolle sajo...
moyur pekhom mello
Batas mridumondo chhunye gelo.

Tumi bolle brishti...
Gaale ese chhnulo tup tap;
Jeno premiker onasristi.

Tumi bolle valobasa...
tolpaar holo Neelnod
somudro sorbonasa.

Tumi bolle cholo...
Grand canion poth banalo majhe
haway chul elo melo.

Tumi bolle mrityu...
odhora chokhe aami nirbaak;
Brishti elomelo
Proloy ghotiye gelo
Tobu Aaj mrityu noy
Jibon hobe sobak.

~Saap-Ludo~

Ora pother dhare goragori dey
Dhulobali mekhe;
Kana chal r mota bhaate
Din katay sukhe.

Chherakhora jama pore
Haat baariye daray;
Vanga khelnay anondo pay
Nalar jole jhapay...

Footpath e haath mele dey
Aadhuli poisa futo;
Sobuj baatir wrong route-e
Kheluk saap-ludo.

Dekhe vaabi esab niyei
Aache ora besh;
Moi diye opore uthe
Saap er mukhe sesh...

~Sopnochaaron~

Ichhedanay urey,
Jedin chole geli...
Bole jaasni amaay;
Keno Vaalobese chhili?

Tor kotha mone porle,
Mone aagun pushi;
Keu amaay daakena ekhhon
Chokhe niye khusi.

Haatina ar railing dhore...
Vaasina sopno purey;
Barandate bosey thaaki..
Mon ta kharap kore.

Shada kuashar araale ekhono...
toke vebei haansi;
Ghumer ghore ekhono je...
Tokei Vaalobasi...

~Sukher pakhi-Dukher pakhi~

Hoyto....
sudhui vaabna,
Opurno, obastob
Kothor ba ghor bastob!

Kiser vabna janina
keno vabi jante chaina,
harano chhobi odekhai thaake
Keu dekhena, khujeo pherena.

Vebechilam sajabo sopno
moner ronger ramdhanu te,
Rong dhorlona sei berongin
shada kalo chhobir buke.

Vebechilaam koto kichui,
sukher pakhi, sonar kathi...
Poth vulechhe, venge gechhe
Aami nodir dhare bose...
Majhir opekhay cheye thaaki.



Trying my hand in writing after quite a long time...

~Taar Arek Naam~

Shunyo gorvo bilaas
Taar arek naam- Vaalobasa;
Thik jemon bristi veja matir soda gondhe
Aar, Ekjoraa ushno thonter chhonyay
Daana mele; Kichhu aasha, ar kichhu uchhasha!

Hothat paaoa
Ekta bilasi shiter dupur,
Chokhe ghum, ushno sannidhye aador,
Aar tarpor, Dupur goriye bikel-sondhye aabar.

Ekta table
Duto mukhomukhi manush.....aar
Duto aadh khaoa coffee cup;
Boye jaoa onek muhurto;
Aar, ushno coffeer dhonya otha uttap, tobuo niruttap!

Kokhono chokhe chokh rekhe hoto
duiye duiye chaar;
Aar aaj, esab haariye paaoa noy,
Sudhui hishaber onker byavichaar!

Hariye fela ghonisthota
Phire ki kokhono aase?
Sei jemon na shona biner banshi;
Meghe dhaka Aadhkhana chaander haansi.

Govir raater sopnei bujhi
Daana mele sesab aasha;
Oleek, Shunyo gorvo bilaas;
Jaar arek naam- Vaalobasa!!!

MAA ER CHEYE VAALO AACHI...

MAA...
vaalo aachho?
roj sokaler judho...
Sobar mon jitte tumi...
Diner seshe klanto..
Ektu bishram cheye shranto...

MAA
tumi kemon aachho?
Kemon chhile?
Sei chhotto tumi...
Hoyto amaari moton...
Naki onnorokom tumi?

MAA
din shuru hoy tomay dekhe,
tomaro ki hoto taai?
Naki tomar jibon chhilo
Onek beshi kothin,
Onek chorai utraai?

MAA
jaanina kemon chhilo sedin,
Jaani tobe, sedin chhilo
taai aaj tumi emon;
sabar majhe sera;
"Maa er cheye vaalo aachhi"
bolbo na to aami..
tomar jonnyo chinechi duniya,
kharap vaaloy cholte...
tomar sathe vaalo aachhi...
Setaai chaai bolte..."

Maa er cheye vaalo?Jaanina seta kemon...somosto kaaj kormer majheo amaar din er shuru maa er saathe..r sesh o taai..klanto din er seshe baari phire maa er sathe 10mins kotha..shorir kharape maa ese pashe boshe mathay haat dile...amaar ostitwo to sei manushtar thekei.. manush tar chhotobela, kaishor jemoni chhilo, se orokom chhilo taai se amaake nijeke jibone egote shikhiyechhe...taai "Maa er theke vaalo aachhi" eta bola hoyto meye hoye kokhonoi somvob noy....

(Writing this one for a magazine....)

Shada-Kaalo

Jolechhilo dhuper kathi ta...

Aami boli...
Purchhe...jibon

Tumi bolle...
Jibon pore na...manush-i poraye..
Abar manush-i jol diye banchaye!!

Kintu amaar chokh bole...
purchhe jibon...manusher......
purchhe manush-o.....
manushe e poray....manush e pore....
kokhono bhitore...kokhono baaire
kokhono soshobde....kokhono ba nirobe

Tumi maante chao na...bole otho..
Abar manush-i banchaye....manush-i hashaye...
Manush-i agun nebhaye...

Haanste thaaki shune...Bole uthi..
Agun jaliye.....Manush-e nevaay
Betha diye... sei komay...
Manush e bachhay....kintu sei to kaanday!!

Shada canvas e...kaalo kaali....
aami boli aandhar...tumi bolo chhaya
noshto chhobi...
Aami boli aborjona...
Tumi bolo maya...

Hothat dur er majhe...
Dur digonte shada-kaalo...
Aami boli raat naamchhe...
Tumi bolo; sondhe elo...

Aaj hothat sab elomelo.

~The green leaf~

The green leaf
And the black eye;
Create a sensation
With a hidden sigh!!!

Holding hands
Or kissing again;
Heart is crying
It’s all about brain!!!

Nice words
Long lost music
Lost somewhere
Like a broken brick!!!

Silence silence
Come to me please;
I am lost in sound
Let my heart release!!!

~SEASONS~

I have been through darkness...
I have been through deadly downs;
Then I have seen a new sunrise...
Now, life doesn't seem like a clown.

I want to get back the love...
Tell me the way to your heart;
Show me the inspiration,
Not just another negotiation.

Do not just be there in the night...
Be there even in the daylight;
Not only the darkness of my life...
But also the ups and downs of twilight.

I know........
I've blown many options...
Some of my own creations;
Today, I just need some inspiration;
Don't give me another negotiation.

~Khuje Dekha~

Kokhono bristi veja ekla mathe bose
Kokhono ba dhu dhu roddur makha
Duto haat bujhi koto kacha kachi
kokhono ba noishobder ojanay vese....

niribili eka pothe haanta
ba tomar chokhe chokh rakha...
kobitar khata niye vaabi
bastob naki chupkotha?

pashapashi koto poth chola;
kohkono ba sudhu bose thaka...
aadh khaoa coffee cup chhuye...
sporshe te valobasha makha.

dekhecho ki bhirer majhe khuje
valobasha hariyeche kotha?
hoyto ba sudhu lukochuri
Chhuye dekha kichhu govirota...

~SONDHAN~

Charidike stobdhota!
Nei sei mughdhota;

Khoniker kothokota,
Mounomukhorota.

Veja chokhe nirobota
Obujh ek katorota.

Thonte sudhu chupkotha
Otit er haansimakha.

Hariye khuji setha;
Lukiye aache jetha...

Purono mughdhota...
Kichhu kotha...Betha...
Ar Valobasha....

WORLD-TERRORISM

What is terrorism? Terrorism involves extraordinary brutality. It is intended to create enormous fear and involves a planned attack for a purpose, often against something or someone. But sometimes for no reason also. Terrorism is a show full of violence. There is no difference between the motives of various terrorist attacks. Only the way of execution is different. The terrorists want to create fear so that leadership will be questioned. The terrorists want an audience such as a rival ethnic group, a religious group, or an entire country. The terrorists want this audience to experience far-reaching fear.

Who is called “Terrorist?” For some The Iraqi’s are terrorists. But for the Iraqi’s it’s America. Well there is no internationally agreed definition for this. But for us the word terrorist brings fear. Fear of losing our dear and near one’s and even our own lives.

Terrorism reminds us 9/11, it reminds us UN blast in Baghdad. And not to forget what happened few days ago in Bangalore.

The word “suicide bomber” creates panic in our heart. We saw, we read and we fear.

But nobody tries to look inside. Why this crusade of terrorism?

Inadequate democracy and corrupt standards of governance in many Islamic countries may also be a contributory factor in the supply of self killing bombers. Young people who are at a loss dislocated from the state and its institutions are vulnerable to the false promises of jihadism.

We know “Al-Qaeda”, Talibani’s and “Jihadi’s” . But we don’t identify with their motives. But do they identify with ours?

Instead what we are doing is “Counter-Terrorism”.

That means we are terrorist too. Are we?

For us “no, we are not”. For them “yes, we are”.

With this world full of terrorists the mantra became “We will kill them all”.

~BATTLE~

Dark cloud
In the sky;
Days are hot
Bright and dry!!!

End seemed so near;
Yet I survived
Out of fear.

Fire and smoke;
Burn my eyes!!!
Everyday...
My heart cries.

Crazy to solve the jigsaw
Day by day
Life has become
A seesaw.


Burning pain
All the time;
Living life...
Seems like crime.

Fighting it
Became my trend...
Can't help...
Itz life...My best friend.

~UNSPOKEN~

I don't always tell you,
That the joy you bring;
Brightened my way...

I don't always tell you,
Your smile...
Makes me smile;
The tears you've made
Happy by sharing
You cared...

I don't always tell you,
That the love you give
Brightened everyday I live.

I don't always tell you,
That you eyes...
Touche my senses;
Gives me comfort,
With hugs and kisses.

Makes me feel you closer...
Even when you are too far;
But the most important of all
You cherish my hopes and dreams.

I don't always tell you,
How much I love you
The memories we've known
All the laughter and fun.

And I just want to say
On this day, I set apart...
Darling I love you..
With all my heart.

~MYSTIC DESERT~

Everyday...
It kills my life,
With a sharp knife!
Blood flows everyside;
And I scream everynight.

Every new day,
Comes with same old ray;
And...
I wish it to turn night;
Mystic starry and bright.
Life stops me then...
With illusions
To capture my brain.
Hope and dreams to
Hold me back;
Courage to break them...
I alwayz lack.

Losing my mind it seems
Or just another illuding scream!
Lost as dark is lost in dark;
Invisible as spark
Is visible in sparks.

Closing my eyes....
I wont do;
As I call it desert of life...
and I want to know...

I want to know
The end of pain;
Want to know where...
Happiness in tears do rain!!!

Want to send u...
The Rainy smell;
To ring your heart's bell.
To let you know...
It's life - taught me....
To love you

~Blank Thoughts~

It sometimes takes me
By surprize...
Your eyes hit Just between
My eyes.
A smile and
Small kiss for me
Sometime feels
So dreamy!!!
And when
the dreams comes true...
It seems closing my eyes
To not to feel blue.

Always l will be here,
Holding hands forever
coloring your silence
Removing all the tears,
My heart will be here
waiting for you;
Only for you dear...

~COLOUR OF LOVE~

When afternoon comes
to meet evening...
The wind starts flirting
Silence starts singing;
Loneliness laughing!

But...
My anger feels nothing.

Rain starts dancing;
Birds are partying...

But...
Anger denies everything.

The winter breeze
Washes my tear...
And bring to me
A flowing river...

Darkness thickens
Becomes darker...
And suddenly
It was full of cracker!!!

Love speaks;

"Life full of lights,
Look at it;
Starry and so bright..."

Tears start vanishing
And becomes pearl...when
Moon sent his message
"Look at me...My girl"

I felt warmth
And close my eyes;
Felt your kiss
On my lips.

Don't come...
Screams anger!!!
Love smiles;
"Come closer"...

Night comes
With magical moonbeam
And we slept...
Inside our dream...

~SOHOJAATRI~

Monta udaas holo abaar,
Ure chole gelo bohudur,
Haaralo se koto ochena;
Koto nishobdo ekla dupur...

Ami bose roi saanjher aashay;
Jodi ase se sujan-majhi,
Koto dheu periye ochenar khoje
Niye jete hobe raaji...

Aami konodin dub dite chaini,
Jete chaaini otoler gohone;
Tobu dube gechi kaalo joler niche,
Mishe gechi jibon- morone...

Aaj bose aachhi tor dike taakiye;
Bariyechi mor haat;
Jete chas jodi aye mor saathe,
Hoyto Kete jaabe ei raat...

Journey~ towards=====>???

Erokom keno hoy je amra ja bhabi seta hoy na?
Jeta korte chai seta korte paari na?
Erokom keno hoy je amader past ta read-only, r future ta not accessible?

Jaanina, hoyto amader mon ta sab somoy jeta kothin jeta jana nei sei ojanar dike tene niye jay...
sobai kei ki niye jay?
naki sudhu amaake?

Proshno gulor utor paoa keno jay na?
Din er por din jokhon prosno gulo moner modhye ghore uttor gulo paoa jay na...
Tarpor jedin prosno gulo palte jay uttor ta tokhon keno paai?

Xam sesh hobar por ki ar sei prosno gulor value thaake?

Janina...
Tobe amaar kachhe thaake na...

Read-only file access kore kono laav hoy na....

Life is alwayz enjoyable to me... atleast I try to do that...
& that very moment life started throwing challenges to me...

I enjoy that.. I love to see myself as a winner...
Tobe sab juddho ki jeta jay?

For me life is a journey...where we meet loads of people...
Some of them become friends.. some remain unknown... some find their station in the mid-way...
& some of them becomes companions for the rest of the journey...
& the journey is full of adventure....
a journey towards unknown destination....

tobu hariye jete ichhe hoy majhe majhe..hoyto...
Ojanar kachhe...Ojanaar pothe...Ojanaar kole....matha rekhe

Bus-Stop

Cold cold breeze
on my face;
Icy cool drops...of rain;
Taking me to a trip to
Down memory lane.

The lanes become
Dark and dirty;
Rain becomes faster;
Nothingness...caught me then,
When I become a loner again...

What is there left to say,
May be...I wasn't right anyway

~U-TURN~

Slowly, Silently
Darkness falls down
in my mind;
With the touch...
Warmth of your breath;
Passion...one of a kind.

I became dead once;
Because of my poisonous love
for you...
But I fought back
To won the battle;
Do you know?

And today I'm alive...
No more death...
Itz life... I do believe.

~JUST NOW~

[PENNED IT DOWN IN MOBILE.....WITHOUT ANY THOUGHT...]

Just now
I felt helpless;
Just now
I felt your embrace.
Just now
I wanted to runaway
Just now
You've shown me the right way.
Just now
I closed my eyes in dark;
Just now
You brought to me the right mark.
Just now
I wanted to die!!!
Just now
You asked me to give it a try.
Just now
I found you nowhere...
Just now
I saw you came closer.
Just now
I wanted to count what I have
I found nothing but your love.

~The Lost Graveyard...~

The flood of emotion…
Has started again;
While I was walking…
Down the memory lane.

It seemed a long ago…
I traveled this way;
With no one to call friend…
With no place to stay!!!

I then found a new lane;
Where I wanted to die;
Where I wanted to survive;
Where I became insane!!!

And all my emotions died…
But I survived!!!
The ebb of emotion
With no love…only rage…
With less smile…lesser courage.

The memory lane…
Where I lost my soul;
There I found light today…
All colours…but not grey.

I found it back;
The rainbow of emotions…
The shining smile…
The raining tears…
The warm affection…and care.

With tears rolling down
I found myself standing
At the graveyard of my past…
Staring at a new dawn…
A new beginning atlast

8simple things....

I got tagged by my friend Bubai aka Sushir Rahaman....nearly 2weeks ago..but I failed to manage some time for this post...so a gig SORRY to him :)

So, please hold ur breath...

1.)I sometimes try to write some useless things...& for that I love to think myself as a poem writter.

2.)Nodoubt I'm a dreamer...but only dreamz...no nightmares[:P]

3.)I'm quite a crackpot...all the strangest things alwyz happen to me[:P]

4.)I believe I'm the worst person u can have ever seen...

5.)I'm alwyz into muzic..my 2nd 3rd or 4th love may be(pun intended)

6.)Books-thats one thing my passion....

7.)oh & yaa..photography started being my hobby now a dayz[:P]

8.) may be the most whimsical one on this earth...i love everything & nothing at the same time...

but still i love to love & being in love...hate to hate & being hated...

now anything left????did u really get anything from this???[:P]

~Transformation~

Some bloody things I need to say,
Please don't runaway...
When you come closer
I wanna love you forever...


I wish I was your love
I wish you were mine.
I watch your smile;
I watch when you are crying.
Oh! I wish you were mine!

And then...
Life took an "U"-turn;
I couldn't find the way to return.
I was stuck in that dark!!!
Couldn't even see any mark...

I was lost inside myself,
Emptiness hold me...my innerself.
Tired I was...broken from inside
Just then you came like a lightening tide!!!

I was crying in the dark...was trying to hold on
No one could hear...I was all alone...
All that I craved someone to love...
You make me close my eyes...and hold your hand
I...that time felt your warmth...

A new path you made...saved me from death;
Came so closer...became my lover.
Now something...i wanna say...
I know you won't runaway...
All I need is you...only you;
Oh darling! be mine...I love you.

~LIFE~

Life has become a medley
Of pain and tear.
Nothing did seem clear.
Everything became so obscure
And dark…
Even light used to make me nark!!!
Was lost inside a maze;
Wish I could become raze.
But I got over;
Didn’t end my life with
A razor!!!
And then I saw another sight
So full of light;
With no grudges of past
I stand up from the
Poisonous dust…
And there began a new journey,
With love, faith and trust.

I'll be watching you

STING lyrics

~Rain~

DEDICATED TO- ABHIRUP CHAKRABARTY
Written down while I was standing at a ghaat...

I sensed the breeze
On my face...
Cold... Wet...
I heard the sound
of water...
Silent... Sweet...
I saw the twilight
Black... Dark...
I felt the sky higher
Clouds... Sparks...
And then,
I saw the rain coming...


WHERE ARE YOU?

I wanna get drenched in rain...
Only with you...

&Atlast with a phone call...

Rain has come...
Along with you...

~COMING BACK INTO THE LIFE~

You saved my heart
Without knowing me;
You saved my dream
When you heard my scream...
My soul was lost
It was then saved by you...
You came into my life;
You...saved my life.

You helped me out;
Why did you do it?
I don't know the reason;
Don't even want to...
All I know that
You were like a shower
On a deserted flower.

It was time
To sink or to swim...
When...you came along;
You pulled me out...
Of the troubles...
I was in.

I stopped myself from
Finding a way of my own;
I don't know
How did you know...that
I was alone.

I was hanging by a thread
I was sinking... and
I was waiting to become dead!!!

You came...And
You've shown me colours...of life...
You saved my life...
You became my life!!!
And made my life.

For you dear

For you

I am not yours, not lost in you,
Not lost, although I long to be
Lost as a candle lit at noon,
Lost as a snowflake in the sea.

You love me, and I find you still
A spirit beautiful and bright,
Yet I am I, who long to be
Lost as a light is lost in light.

Oh plunge me deep in love -- put out
My senses, leave me deaf and blind,
Swept by the tempest of your love,
A taper in a rushing wind.

~LOVER or TRAITOR~

I wanna say My heartiest sorry to some people.....

Behind the closed door
One small bed;
You and me...
Standing on the floor...

I felt love;
I felt warmth
And I made love!!!
But I don't know how,
I missed you!!!

I closed my eyes;
I felt you...
Inside me!!!
I smiled;
I cried;
I shouted;
I lost it...
I lost it all... to you!!!

But,
It wasn't you...
It can never be you.
But the touch was yours!!!
Inside my mind,
I made myself blind...
And opened up my mind...

But
Don't ever close your eyes...
And never open up your mind.
I'm your present
And I stay there inside your mind...
That's all you'll able to find!!!

So, Don't ever close your eyes;
I don't want you to pay the price.
You are the winner...
Don't make yourself the looser!!!
I've seen your soul
Which you never knew... That i could...
May be, it was a sin
But your soul...there I've seen...
Who are you...
The real you!!!

I'm a creep:
A fucking nonsense!!!
So, don't close your eyes...
On my word...
That makes no sense...

DISEASE

This one is the most arbitly written poem ever by me... it has no start & no end...sorry to all

You are a drug
I'm addicted...
I'm affected...
I'm rejected!!!
It's irony...
That you are my medicine.
But I don't need it!!!
Loving you is a sin;
A crime Which is only mine...
And yet I don't want medicine,
Angel of Death is calling...

HARA-KIRI

Aaj hothat
akash ta abaar mone holo chena,
Aaj hothat
abaar jeno holam aanmona..
Aaj hothat
haariye gelam otit din er srote;
Aaj hothat
abaar ichhe holo amaar ushno hote...
Aaj hothat
Tomar smriti phirchhe baarbaar,
Aaj ki tobe
tomay aami haralam abaar...