Painted Memories

The days of seeing yourself through someone else’s eye everyday…..

The days of feeling goosebumps with someone’s touch…..

The days of stealing few glances to your favorite person….

The days of anticipations….

-          Are the best days.

She saw herself like that every day...

She felt the sudden rush of blood whenever his name flashed on her mobile…

She spent hours to decide the outfit before meeting him…and then opted for the most easily available one from there…

He was her favorite person.

He was the perfect person- to her.

The tons of happiness he felt whenever she came to his sight….

The pinch of insecurity came along with that…

Her wondering eyes sometimes produced a strange pain inside his heart…

He knew her smell… He loved that…

Her lips made him many sleepless nights…

She was his favorite person…

Their wings got entangled with each other…

They traveled to the glittery and smoky pubs in Paris…

They traveled to each other's deepest darkest thoughts…

They scared each other…

They got scared of themselves…

They made love!

It was supposed to have a happily ever after!

He was looking at her picture!

That stabbing pain he felt again…

He closed that book and went back to reading the letter he recently got.

It was left in his favorite book that he couldn't check in last few years.

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It was more like a page from her personal diary than a letter.

He went through the words millions of times and still reading it.

"I never felt I could suddenly leave everything behind. I never felt anything wrong. That day when you started to fake that smile, I knew something was terribly wrong. I could almost see what’s there beneath the eyes. Even now I am in excruciating pain and I can see the anxiety in your eyes. I know you are wiping of the tears silently standing in the veranda so that you can come up with a smile in front of me. I am trying to have faith on your faith. But I want you to have faith in your belief. I cannot see that. Somehow I can feel the end, but I don’t want to. As I always used to say the journey of life is exhilarating, painful, definitely worthwhile and most definitely progressive. I have a feel that my journey is ending. You cannot hide the vacuum in your eyes through your smile. The way you clutch my hands during my sleep I know that touch. I still have belief in you. I don’t want you to lose the hope. Your hope and strength is my last resort. This might be the last page I am able to scribble on. I wanted this book from you so that I can read something while taking rest in this boring and dull sky blue hospital bed. They should make hospital more colorful you know. This shade of blue is boring and depressing. The pain is bothering me. Also, I know you will soon be here beside me once you finish talking to the doctor. Don’t know how long. Now I guess it does not matter whether I want to live or not. You must not forget to enjoy the exhilarating journey of life. As I always say, it is worth all the pain. If there is anything called afterlife most probably I will see you from there. Till then love yourself and don’t stop yourself from falling in love. With anything or anybody."

He shivered again. The scorching heat outside failed to provide him any warmth. He never failed anywhere. The pain of the biggest failure happened 6yrs back. He lost all hope. It was today he thought of rearranging the book shelf and suddenly touched the book he just kept there for last 6yrs untouched. He wanted to keep her touch sealed in that book. Today, this book suddenly played few scenes from the most painful memory of his. He decided to take a trip to the riverside to spend some time alone. 

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Riverside never fails to make him connect with his sole. He once decided to not to bring the cigarettes there ever and he still follows that. The wet feeling in his toe suddenly bought him back to present. The cute little puppy said a lot with its round black eyes. He took it and then suddenly understood the meaning of love all over again. He took that cute little four legged creature home.