Letter to Lisbon

Dear Lisbon,

Ours was a rain soaked romance, right? Okay, initially I was annoyed but all great love stories start with a bit of annoyance and the more I explored you, the more enchanted I became. I loved how warm people are. If it wasn’t for rain I may not have met so many people and oh so warm, they all were.

I was the girl with the blue umbrella and almost lost it to the coastal wind once. I was the girl who was literally following her dreams through your hidden stairs and alleys. I was the girl who jumped in joy after riding the “iconic yellow tram”. I was the girl who had a smile on her face throughout the day! Through the pink street or the pantheon or the miradouro da graca, the charm is everywhere, lying in plain sight.

The hidden stairs throughout the city and the street art! You are definitely the most versatile city I witnessed till now. You don’t have the cold, snob heart and the colors and graffiti everywhere made you a charmer. 

I have never seen a road like "Pink street". First few minutes I was just looking at it, almost pinching myself of how enchanting the alleyway looked. All the cobblestone roads looked straight from the fairytale and I really think, even though it was raining like cats and dogs, walking through the heart of Lisbon was the best decision I made.

I met you at a time when things didn’t look pretty from where I was standing. You became a breath of fresh air. The Food at Fado was cherry on top for me. Our rain soaked romance will be etched in my heart for a long long time.

Ours was the love story written in rain and wind. 

Love,
The girl with the blue umbrella

Durga Pujo in Kolkata- 5 days of Life :)

When I got this request of writing something on Durgapujo it made me nostalgic as always. They say life changes with time but when it comes to Durgapujo in the City of Joy- nothing really have changed in last couple of decades. Yeah, then I used to hop from one pandal to another holding my Mom’s hand and with family and now there is the loved one and friends but the essence of Kolkata has remained just the same. Junk food, chitchat, new dresses, excitement, pandal hopping and forgetting worries for those five days- this quite sums up the feeling.

Last year I made a promise to myself that no matter what this DurgaPujo I will be there in Kolkata. Checked the calendar by the end of last year and set the reminders so that we could book the tickets successfully for the festival and yes, we are going to city of joy to enjoy the festival of all festivals this year.

When you stay outside of the "city of joy" what you do not get is how involved we feel with the whole festival and not just any one pujo. It is not just pandal hopping or meeting new people but it is something that makes us look forward to those five days. From the poor to the rich everyone feels happy and connected and at the end everyone feel sad to bid adieu the Goddess and her family.

It is not sentimental or foolish of us when some people cry on “Vijaya Dasami”, it just shows how much they loved these few days and how much they look forward to this festival.

DurgaPuja is the extravagant festival but in other sense it is the epitome of “Hope”.

It is easy to criticize it by calling it extravaganza or pandal hopping but it is not really tough to feel the essence inside. All you need is to open up your heart a bit.

The bhog, the sound of dhak, the late night pandal hopping, the junkfood, balloons, and lighting- everything makes Durgapuja a magical affair. Outside Kolkata in many places Durgapuja happens but there the essence is often missing. It is not dancing and singing that makes this festival so special but the feeling of joy that makes us laugh and cry both. It is not how many new dresses we have but how many moments of happiness we get in the end.

It is about eating bhog with everyone, sharing a few moments of laugh with everyone and just feeling happy from inside.

Do you feel irritated of crowd? Let me ask you a question aren't you a part of the crowd? Crowd is made of people like you and me and the fun is there when you just feel how everyone is happy about the festival. You don’t know them while standing in the crowded street but you overhear a few lines and realize how they reflect your feelings.

You think Kolkata DurgaPujo is all about pandal hopping? Then you just do not get it and can never get it. It is about the madness in Maddox square and the different colors of the coconut trees and asking friends to come there and have long chit chat sessions. It is about meeting new people and making new friends without being judgmental or shrewd. It is about giving the street children a few extra rupees so that they can also feel a moment of happiness.

It is just five days, short lived but long enough to spur some hope inside everyone to look forward to something.

Close your eyes, feel the smell in the air- can you? Yes, that is the smell of DurgaPuja we all have grown up with and away from the city of joy that is the smell I sometimes miss amidst the concrete jungle.

5 days of hope...

5 days of fun...

5 days of life...

Dear Goddess- we are coming home :)

The other side....

-Who are you?

-They call me the Angle of Death

-But you are so Beautiful! How could you be death!

- That is because you are at the verge of the other side...  Do you feel any pain?

- I am just feeling a supersonic sound. Actually I am not feeling anything... What is the other side?

- You will see soon when you will be there... From your side your emotions make the other side look dark..  But that is not how it is... And I am here to take you out.

- Am I dead?!!! Is this how it feels? Is this the other side??? 

- You are still alive... At the verge of the other side...  you will see that soon …

-How does it feel? Like a Boom!!

- Nah, no boom...  just a click... May be... 

- Just a click? That’s it? Wouldn’t I feel any pain? Wouldn’t I be able to see my family? My daughter????? Have you seen her ?  She must be there outside.

-I don’t see things I have no work with

-But.. but she is my daughter and..

-And it won’t matter…nothing will matter at the other side. ..

- Not even my daughter? My family? I won’t matter to them?

- No idea, but they won’t matter to you anymore there..you won’t see them, you won’t miss them.. you won’t have the solidify state for that..

- But I want to matter, because they matter….and….and I feel light…lighter… where am I?

- You are now stepping at the other side…you are out of your body now. It is time for you to come with me. . I told you nothing will matter here…

- But I didn’t hear any “Click”..and I want to see all the last time…it is so cold, cloudy…as if…

-As if you are far away among the clouds…yes, you are…and see they didn't matter…they don’t matter… not anymore….welcome to the other side....  

Painted Memories

The days of seeing yourself through someone else’s eye everyday…..

The days of feeling goosebumps with someone’s touch…..

The days of stealing few glances to your favorite person….

The days of anticipations….

-          Are the best days.

She saw herself like that every day...

She felt the sudden rush of blood whenever his name flashed on her mobile…

She spent hours to decide the outfit before meeting him…and then opted for the most easily available one from there…

He was her favorite person.

He was the perfect person- to her.

The tons of happiness he felt whenever she came to his sight….

The pinch of insecurity came along with that…

Her wondering eyes sometimes produced a strange pain inside his heart…

He knew her smell… He loved that…

Her lips made him many sleepless nights…

She was his favorite person…

Their wings got entangled with each other…

They traveled to the glittery and smoky pubs in Paris…

They traveled to each other's deepest darkest thoughts…

They scared each other…

They got scared of themselves…

They made love!

It was supposed to have a happily ever after!

He was looking at her picture!

That stabbing pain he felt again…

He closed that book and went back to reading the letter he recently got.

It was left in his favorite book that he couldn't check in last few years.

                                    ------------******-------------

It was more like a page from her personal diary than a letter.

He went through the words millions of times and still reading it.

"I never felt I could suddenly leave everything behind. I never felt anything wrong. That day when you started to fake that smile, I knew something was terribly wrong. I could almost see what’s there beneath the eyes. Even now I am in excruciating pain and I can see the anxiety in your eyes. I know you are wiping of the tears silently standing in the veranda so that you can come up with a smile in front of me. I am trying to have faith on your faith. But I want you to have faith in your belief. I cannot see that. Somehow I can feel the end, but I don’t want to. As I always used to say the journey of life is exhilarating, painful, definitely worthwhile and most definitely progressive. I have a feel that my journey is ending. You cannot hide the vacuum in your eyes through your smile. The way you clutch my hands during my sleep I know that touch. I still have belief in you. I don’t want you to lose the hope. Your hope and strength is my last resort. This might be the last page I am able to scribble on. I wanted this book from you so that I can read something while taking rest in this boring and dull sky blue hospital bed. They should make hospital more colorful you know. This shade of blue is boring and depressing. The pain is bothering me. Also, I know you will soon be here beside me once you finish talking to the doctor. Don’t know how long. Now I guess it does not matter whether I want to live or not. You must not forget to enjoy the exhilarating journey of life. As I always say, it is worth all the pain. If there is anything called afterlife most probably I will see you from there. Till then love yourself and don’t stop yourself from falling in love. With anything or anybody."

He shivered again. The scorching heat outside failed to provide him any warmth. He never failed anywhere. The pain of the biggest failure happened 6yrs back. He lost all hope. It was today he thought of rearranging the book shelf and suddenly touched the book he just kept there for last 6yrs untouched. He wanted to keep her touch sealed in that book. Today, this book suddenly played few scenes from the most painful memory of his. He decided to take a trip to the riverside to spend some time alone. 

                                                  --------********----------

Riverside never fails to make him connect with his sole. He once decided to not to bring the cigarettes there ever and he still follows that. The wet feeling in his toe suddenly bought him back to present. The cute little puppy said a lot with its round black eyes. He took it and then suddenly understood the meaning of love all over again. He took that cute little four legged creature home.